And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Title: Viva la Vida 
Fandom: Toriko
Rating: PG-13 because Zebra has a potty mouth.
Summary: As a landlocked chef, Komatsu has never really fit in the world of the Gourmet Empire. Can an encounter with a mysterious stranger, an accidental abduction, and a whole new world of adventure help him find his place?
Warning: Toriko Pirate AU. Do I really have to say anything else? *facepalm*

Part  1A: For Goodness Steak! 

Part 1B: Pasta la Vista, Baby!

Part 2A: But I’ve Never Been to Boston in the Fall!

Part 2B: Frying Pans and Fires
Komatsu supposed he should have been expecting the lavish kitchen, given the gluttonous nature of the pirates he now found himself with, but he still couldn’t help how his jaw — already given quite the workout throughout the day — nearly unhinged itself.  

Splendid marble countertops provided ample work stations. A huge fire roared in a specially ship-designed open hearth oven that was big enough to cook at least two mooseagles side by side. A walk-in fridge the size of Komatsu’s old apartment filled up an entire back wall. Two other walls were composed of shelves upon shelves of cooking instruments. However, nothing could compare to the wall to ceiling swath of ovens and stoves that made up the final wall.

It was indeed a kitchen that could cook for kings.

“Yun yun yun!” agreed the baby wall penguin, who had waddled in after him.

“Not that bad of a setup, wouldn’t you say?” said Coco, who had stolen up silently behind him.  “It’s a pity, but only Sunny and I really use it. Toriko and Zebra either eat their food raw or they burn the outside crispy in the hearth.”

Komatsu, still caught up in the wonder of the kitchen, could only nod mutely. His feet could not stop their bounce either as he ran from corner to corner.  “You’re … you’re really going to let me cook in here?!”

“We don’t have anywhere else.”

“This is like a dream come true!“ Tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, Komatsu hugged Coco around the waist again. This time, though, since the man didn’t tense up quite so much at the contact, Komatsu let the moment last just the slightest bit longer.

“Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! It’s almost worth it!” he gushed as he wiped his eyes on his forearm. “Being barbecued, then kidnapped,  thrown on a strange ship, then kidnapped again and thrown on another strange ship … it’s almost worth it to get to work in a kitchen like this with ingredients like that!”

He paused as he read the name of the second container Coco had set down. “You’re going to let me try cooking the shimmering scallops too?”

“Yes, don’t be fooled by Sunny. He’ll do anything to improve his skin, even risk having a class 5 chef ruin his part of the loot.”

“I promise I’ll try my very best not to ruin anything!” Half in a daze, Komatsu wandered over to the gigantic refrigerator. “Can I use the food in here too, Coco-sama?”

“First off, you don’t need to keep attaching that -sama title,” Coco said. “And yes, you can use whatever you want in this kitchen. However, I really wouldn’t spend too much time fussing around; Zebra and Toriko tend to get really hungry really fast, and it’s all going to just disappear anyway. Perhaps you should take it easy …”

“Mhmm,” mumbled Komatsu absently as tried to pry open the refrigerator door. He had to throw all of his weight backwards to do so, but finally popped open after his fifth try. He let out another squeal  when he saw the quality of its contents. “I’ve always dreamed of working with these kinds of ingredients!”

“But like I said before, perhaps you should take it easy if it’s your first time working with these,” Coco warned, “You’re already tackling a pretty big job with just the scallops and the silver dragonfish, you can’t possibly … Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

“Oh, and there‘s speckled peakestrel eggs — that’ll go great in a souffle to accompany the dragonfish  … hmmm, oh! Chocomatoes!”

Komatsu’s hands flew over the ingredients, fingers sizing up, weighing, and judging the relative qualities and freshness of each item.

“This is so wonderful. Over the years, I’ve read so many cookbooks and I’ve come up so many recipes for ingredients just like these … but I never thought I’d ever have the chance to actually touch, much less cook with them! So … no matter what happens afterwards, no matter what the consequences, I want to try. Just this once. Please, Coco-sama — er … san?”

Komatsu was aware he was probably pleading like some child wanting candy, but he could not have stopped it any more than he could have negated the force of gravity.

Coco actually took a step back away from him, brows furrowed. “Well, I doubt even a pirate could be heartless to stop you from using those ingredients, not with that look on your face. If you think you can handle it, go ahead.”

 The pirate’s mouth had kinked up in the corners, almost as if he was losing the fight against smiling again. “You can also use any of the tools in the kitchen, and you’ll definitely need some good knives to cut the shimmering scallops. The trick is to approach it at exactly a 36.5 degree angle. Your slice has to be exactly 2 millimeters in length. Any less, and they’ll close up tight during the steaming , sealing off any chance for the flavor from the liquor to soak in. Any more, they’ll lose their shimmer and gain a rubbery texture.”

“Thank you! And yep, 36.5 degrees, 2 millimeters … got it! But um, I think I’m going to use the knife I have in my pocket,” Komatsu said, drawing it from his apron.

For a moment, he felt another deep surge of anger for its missing companion, but he took a steadying breath and let the atmosphere of the kitchen soak down into his skin. He couldn’t do anything about the mysterious stranger but he could do something for the ingredients in front of him.

Besides, a chef can lose his cool on the street, in the marketplace … and even on the top deck of a pirate ship. But not here, he reminded himself, not in this space.

One step at a time, just like Coco-san said.

The cloaked stranger had wrapped his remaining blade up quite carefully, preventing it from being damaged —as well as preventing the blade from damaging Komatsu himself. Reverently, he unwrapped the instrument, letting out a long sigh of relief as he inspected its gleaming edge. Still perfect. Still workable. Still the only piece of sanity and assurance in a world gone mad. Wiping it off on his sleeve, he carefully selected the first shimmering scallop. Angling the knife at exactly 36.5 degrees, he let the blade slip into the shell to make the thinnest, most minute cut.

It was only when he heard a slight, sharp intake of breath behind him that Komatsu remembered that he still had an audience. “Coco-san?” he asked, turning.

Coco was staring hard at the knife in Komatsu’s hand. The focused intensity made the hairs on the back of Komatsu‘s neck prickle; in fact, his entire body felt electrified. It was as if the man was trying to stare past Komatsu’s very bones.

Oh no, he’s probably wondering why I insist on using my own kinfe instead of the really nice ones here in the kitchen! Chefs should never criticize the tools of others …   
 
“I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I hope you know I wasn’t insulting the knives in the kitchen! They’re first rate! I know mine is just a plain knife — and not it’s not even a part of a pair anymore. And originally, they weren’t very expensive either.”                                                                                                                                                               
“But they meant a lot, to you,” Coco said.

Komatsu rubbed his nose sheepishly as he selected the next scallop. “Yes. I know this one doesn’t look like much, but it was a part of the first pair I ever bought with my own money. They’ve been with me through all the good and the bad times. I’m kinda really mad I only have one left! But you were absolutely right, Coco-san. At least I still have one, and I can still cook with just one!”

Coco chose to remain silent, even as Komatsu completed his second incision.

“Um, am I not doing this right?!” A glance down to the scallop showed that it was still shining softly in his hand. Had he not cut it enough? Wrong angle? Surely it would have stopped shining if he had made a mistake!

“No. You’re doing it perfectly.”

Komatsu knew he was probably blushing the color of a starberry again. “Thanks. I know I’m not qualified but I promise I’ll give it my all!”

“Hmm,” was all Coco murmured. Komatsu beamed at him and started on his third scallop. In a few minutes time, he had finished the lot. At the exact moment the water was ready, he dropped the scallops into the steamer net and twirled the limerick liquor over them in an precise counter swirl to the rising steam. The contact with the water vapor would add just the right amount of dilution without compromising the flavor.

There. Done.

Rubbing his hands together, Komatsu detoured around the baby wall penguin, who had been determinedly dogging his steps, and turned his attention to the other ingredients waiting on the counter.

Not even the later appearance of Sunny could throw him off his rhythm. Komatsu could hear, in the back of his mind, the pirates’ conversation, but with the ingredients needing him in a manner just as urgent, he couldn’t pay much attention to it.

“How come you’re still down here, Coco? Is he STILL foolin’ with those scallops?! Or has he ruin’d ‘em all?!”

“No. He didn’t ruin a single one. He’s actually done with those.”

“So you’re lettin’ him ruin MORE food?!”

“I don’t think ruin is quite the right word. Just watch.”

By this point, Komatsu had three stewpots going, four frying pans, and he had just added a wok to the stove. Ingredients were sizzling, popping, and steaming all around him.
 
“I don’t wanna watch such a disgustin’ creature! Tch, must he frolic so disgustin’ly while doin’ so?!  He does know he’s been captur’d by pirates, right?”

“Yes, well … he seems to keep forgetting that small detail. But still, pay attention.”

“To what?! His totally disgustin’ floppiness? That horr’ble shortness? The way he’s choppin’ up things with that cheap … oh. Well. Ah.”

“Wait. Stop tasting him, Sunny! It’s highly impolite and you’ll disrupt his concentration.”

“Tch! As if I cou’d ev’r do somethin’ so crude!”
 
“Something smells really good down here!” bellowed Toriko. His sudden loud appearance, though, nearly made Komatsu trip over his own feet and land headfirst in a stewpot. Fortunately, though, something mysteriously caught the back of his apron and set him back on his feet gently.

“Toriko! What’s with that uncult’red entrance?!” Sunny huffed. “You’re spoilin’ the harmony!”

“Eh? What do you mean?“ Toriko waved off his fellow crewmate’s concern as he approached one of the boiling pots. His grin widened even further. “Wow, you’ve got a real spread going! Looks great!”

“Um, well, I’m glad you think so!” Komatsu finished adding the last bit of garlichives to his soup. “It’ll be done in a few minutes! Thank you SO much for lending me your ingredients, Toriko-sama!”

“What’s with the -sama business?!“ Toriko gave a rather toothy grin as he circled eagerly around the stewpots.

“What’s all the racket?!” Zebra stomped down. “Why is it fuckin’ taking so long?!”

Toriko rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. “Actually, you’re right on time. Dinner … our first really cooked one in a long time … is about to be served. And I guess that means we’ll be eating it together — also a first in quite a while. Isn’t this great?!”

“Dinner? Looks like a shitty small appetizer to me! And who says I have to share with the lot of you?!”

“You are not fighting in this kitchen. Stop that right now, or so help me, you both will be tossed back overboard again,” Coco chided.

“Oh really, Poison Pants?! You wanna take me on?”

“Perhaps … except that will lead to the food getting cold in the meantime, and I’d hate for that to happen, right?”  Coco had crossed his arms, head tilted. After a moment spent flexing his muscles, Zebra muttered something. Komatsu couldn’t quite hear it, but it made the other pirate roll his eyes. “How very charming. However, I’m sure that part of my anatomy is quite happy where it is at the moment. But if you are done, let’s go up and set up the deck so Komatsu-kun’s efforts don’t go to waste.”

“Oh, so it’s Komatsu-kun now, Poison Pants?!”

There might have been another brief argument among the pirates, but since three of the dishes suddenly needed his attention, Komatsu let the ambient noise and commotion wash over and around him as he rushed to attend to them.

Truth to be told, it would have taken a lot more than four hungry kings to disturb Komatsu at the height of his element. He only had eyes, ears, and hands for the task before him as he guided his dishes through the last stages of cooking and plating. I can’t fail all these lovely ingredients! I just can’t!

“Wait here,” he said to the penguin as he wiped his hands off on his apron. “I’ll try to cook something for you, too, a bit later. Um, if there is a later. If not …” he grimaced, “Penguins know how to swim, right?! Now to figure out how to get all these plates up to — eeeek!”

He nearly fell over in surprise again as the plates began to float. Something caught him once more, however, and set him firmly back on his feet.

“UUUGH! Stop gapin’ like that. So gross!” Sunny’s  voice came from behind him. “And don’t even think for a second that I’m becomin’ a server for you or somethin’ like that!” he warned. “I just didn’t want to wait forev’r for you to get the plates! Timin’ is the ess’nce of true beauty!”  

“Oh, thank you! I was wondering how I was going to get everything up on the deck. These dishes are so pretty that I didn’t want to risk breaking them!”

“I shoul’d certa’nly hope not! I pick’d  ‘em all out m’self! Don’t just call them pretty! Pretty is a word for little girls wi‘ their first blushes!” the pirate flicked his fingers, as if dismissing Komatsu’s horribly peon-like thoughts. Somehow, even his very fingertips managed to look haughty.  “Call them …. beaut’ful! Come alon’ now!”

For a moment, Komatsu lingered behind, though, suddenly uncertain about whether or not he should appear above decks with his food. It seemed to be safer to stay down in this wondrous kitchen …

“Didn’t I say that timin’ was the ess’nce of beaut‘y? Pay attenti’n, ‘Matsu!”

Matsu? Who’s ….

“WAAH!” Suddenly, he was also floating through the air and up onto the deck.

The supplies looted from the imperial ship had been cleared (did they store it or eat it all?! Komatsu wondered) and a plank table had been set up underneath the stars. (When did it become night?!)  Someone had lit table lanterns. It was surprisingly pleasant — given that he was on the most notorious ship to ever pillage the Gourmet Empire.

Still, pleasant atmosphere or not, standing at the head of the table, Komatsu’s nerves began to reestablish themselves. They gnawed their way up his spine, vertebrae by vertebrae, and turned his confidence into jello.

It was all he could do not to shake in his shoes when it became very apparent that even though he had prepared enough food for twenty people, it was nowhere near enough for all the kings. Within the time it took him to blink twice, the food was gone.

“BOY!”

Ohnoohnoohnoohnoit’sZebra!HehateswhatIcooked!

In a blink of an eye, the most fearsome of the Four Kings was standing in front of him. At this close range, Komatsu could see every single one of the teeth in the ripped mouth. Zebra was also gnashing them, and the grinding noise was very, very audible. It set Komatsu’s own teeth on edge.

“I hate, absolutely fuckin’ HATE,” the deep voice rumbled, “above all things, liars! You’re really only a Class 5 chef?! And you came outta the fuckin’ Empire? And you made this?!”

“Y-y-y-yes!” Komatsu stuttered. “Is it not to your liking? I did my best, and I tried to guess what each of you might like but I now I guess that might have been presumptuous ohpleasedon’tripoutmykidneys!”

Komatsu squeezed his eyes shut as he scrambled backwards, tripping over his own feet as he did so. He ended up sprawled flat on the deck.

He’s going to eat me!

“Hey, quit scaring my loot. He did a great job.”

When he opened his eyes, all Komatsu could see was a broad expanse of well muscled back, imposing itself between him and the (perceived) danger.

“TORIKO! You want to fight again?!”

“Naaaah. Just leave him alone; he’s not used to you, and he smells scared enough to piss on our deck. Do you want to clean up that mess?”

 For a moment, it seemed like the other pirate was about to force his way past Toriko and chomp Komatsu’s head off anyway, but finally Zebra let out a grumble and turned away.

“Tch, if I see even the first sign of cockiness ….” there was a sharp cracking sound. Komatsu swallowed nervously as he realized that Zebra had snapped his teeth together. The sound seemed strong enough to fracture steel.

Chuckling, Toriko turned around and knelt so that he was eye level with the chef.

 “Hey, thanks for the meal; it was very delicious!” He clapped a meaty hand on Komatsu’s shoulder, almost causing the chef to tumble over once more. “You going to cook again tomorrow?”

“T-t-tomorrow?” Struggling to retain his balance, Komatsu could only blink wordlessly at the pirate. His brain was just beginning to process what had happened today on the ship.

Now there was going to be a tomorrow?

“Yep. We gotta eat every day, you know,” Toriko’s grin got even wider.

 Komatsu gulped. “Um. I g-g-guess …s-s-s-sure. I’ll definitely cook for you tomorrow.”

To his own amazement, Komatsu found that he might just be looking forward to it.

I must be going crazy.

———— 

Part 3A: Give Peas a Chance

————-

Annnnd, so it begins! Not a lot happens this chapter, as you can see, but hey, Komatsu’s getting established. :) Next chapter is a Toriko centric chapter as Komatsu gets a taste of what it REALLY is like being a cook on a gourmet pirate ship. XD XD (Though the one I really want to get to is the Zebra chapter after that, which I had a .. um … bit too much fun writing.)

Unfortunately, though, today also ends my extended break; I go back to work full time after Monday. T___T I don’t know when I’ll update again, since this isn’t actually anything more than a preview post —mostly as a hello to the Toriko fandom and a thank you to it for being so nice! I do have the next *calculates* 70 pages written and the end is in sight though! It’s one of my polices to NEVER post an unfinished fic, so no worries.

However, I might offer a choice — do you rather get this is small installments as I write both ends (polish up the parts that come next while working on the ending) or wait until I finish the whole story, and post it in longer parts but with regularity. (If you wait until I finish, I can promise set release dates on a weekly basis versus me posting at irregular intervals.)

The pros of waiting to the end is that it’s more polished, it’s less likely that I’ll change details in the beginning parts (I have a bad habit of that) and you can count on a weekly release of the chapters.

The pros of getting it released whenever I have the time to edit the next part (since coding for Tumblr is a pain) is that you’ll probably see the next part sooner and it ensures I keep working towards the ending, since panic motivates me more than anything else. Left to my own devices, I could well take another two months to complete the whole story and even another month after that to edit it. XD I also like concrit since at this point, I don’t have a beta for the fic yet, so your comments could change the course of the fic. The cons of me releasing bit by bit as I work towards the ending is that the front parts may change a bit in the process and well, that’s kinda embarrassing. :)

Let me know which is the better option; I haven’t quite decided myself. First option (Wait til’ it’s finished) means I’ll pull the fic in a bout a week and release it (and a new bit, week by week) until it’s done, Second option (Read as I write) means I have no solid release dates, but will keep the fic up and keep updating it now and again. :)

Anyways, thank you for reading my Boxing Day fic bit! I hope you enjoyed it … I really enjoyed writing it (And am excited about editing and writing the next parts). I even have a tentative name: Viva la Vida.

Okay, enough babbling out of me. :) Take care and Happy New Year!