And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Yeah, titles. I sorta suck at them. Send help. Having too much fun with puns in the chapter titles!

Title: Little Pines (working title, looking for a better one!) Part 2B
Fandom: Toriko
Rating: PG-13 because Zebra has a potty mouth.
Summary: As a landlocked chef, Komatsu has never really fit in the world of the Gourmet Empire. Can an encounter with a mysterious stranger, an accidental abduction, and a whole new world of adventure help him find his place?
Warning: Toriko Pirate AU. Do I really have to say anything else? *facepalm*

Part  1A: For Goodness Steak! 

Part 1B: Pasta la Vista, Baby!

Part 2A: But I’ve Never Been to Boston in the Fall!

———————————————-

If he hadn’t been cowering in fear with one arm thrown over his eyes, Komatsu would have seen that only one face out of the four was actually surprised by his presence.

“It’s a disgustin’ kid! Why did the imper’l deliv’ry ship have a disgustin’ kid in a disgustin’ crate with a disgustin’ wall peng’n?!”

“I don’t think he’s a child, Sunny, and I don’t think he originally came in the crate — he looks rather like …. Hmm. Perhaps he was an imperial chef who hid at the first sign of danger?”

“Who cares? I say we barbecue the brat. Teach him what happens to stowaways.”

“Hang on, Zebra. Coco’s right …  he’s definitely a chef, though I’m not sure he’s an imperial one. His hands smells like smoke and Class 5 ingredients.”

“Heh. Maybe the imperial bastards have discovered a new flavor that involves combining wall penguins and low class chefs? He does kinda look tasty, all balled up like that.”

“Zebra! You can’t possibly want to eat that chef!”

As the voices devolved into a heated argument about the merits of cooking a chef (versus letting a chef do the cooking), the baby wall penguin apparently had enough of being shielded. It gave an enthusiastic kick with its flippers, forcing Komatsu to unroll himself.

He rather wished he hadn’t, though, as the yelling immediately stopped and four gazes immediately turned and zeroed in on him.

Komatsu had to fight back a throat clenching squeak as he got his first close up look at the man he knew — from countless wanted posters decrying his deadliness — as Coco, the Poison Man of the Four Kings.

At the moment, the pirate was sporting a rather tight frown. “Toriko — I’m probably going to regret asking this, but why did you bring him aboard?”

“Yeah, why?!” And that was Sunny, the King with the Thousand Touches of Torture.

“Barbecue him already! We don’t need anymore extra mouths; mine’s big enough as is!” said Zebra, Voice of the Death God.

“Wait, wait, hang on.” Last, but in no way least, Komatsu’s petrified brain took in (and gibbered at) Toriko, the Glutton God.  “No one is dousing him in barbecue sauce! He’s my spoils from the battle and you know my policy. I don’t take, kill, or waste what I don’t plan to eat.”

“So you do plan to eat him then?” Zebra growled.

“No! Don’t be a dumbass!”

“Oh, you want to fight again?!”

“You two better not even think about starting a fight on board. I just had the Bon Appetit repaired after the last time. Take it out on the ocean, if you must!”

“Tch! I agree! You two could use the bath, bein’ the absolute height of disgustin’ess anyway!”

Before Komatsu’s bemused eyes, all four kings began to squabble loudly again. There was also quite a bit of pushing and shoving involved between Toriko and Zebra.  

Feeling a bit ignored and more than a bit scared, he carefully climbed out of the crate. As an afterthought, he picked up the baby wall penguin and helped it out of the crate as well. It nuzzled against his leg, creating the only warm spot in Komatsu’s otherwise frozen body. Beady black eyes looked up at him imploringly.

He’s soooooooooo cute! Pink and fuzzy and with those big beady eyes … it’s like a fairytale in the middle of this hellish horror story!

They said they couldn’t eat him, right?  Komatsu ruffled the soft feathers. Are they going to toss him overboard as well? I have to find a way to save both him and me!

The thought gave him enough courage to finally rally his courage to stand up straighter and look around.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t exactly a panoramic sight that greeted him. Far above his head, he could hear the wind snapping at the black Jolly Roger. The skull, with its knife and fork crossbones, was a stark visual reminder that death sailed these waters, unchained by imperial law or maritime code. In the distance, five towers of smoke spiraled towards the sky, proof of the prowess of this particular crew.

 Komatsu closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Okay. Don’t panic. So what if they’re more destructive than a whole fleet of warships?

 They’re still just men, right? Yes, men with biceps the size of my head, but still men, which means they can be reasoned with. I’ll just explain that this was all a big mistake … how bad could it be?

“I’m going to rip your tonsils out through your arsehole, Toriko!”

That’s it, game over, I’m dead. It’s probably going to be from massive blood loss. No, evisceration. Or … ack! Organs spilling out of every orifice!

There were definitely drawbacks to having a very active and powerful imagination.

Komatsu tried to shrink backwards and make himself look even smaller (and more inedible) than ever.

Unfortunately, the ship chose that moment to roll sharply with a wave, sending him off balance and careening towards the hard metal side. Instinctively, Komatsu threw his hands forward, searching for something to help steady himself.

His fingers closed around something warm and slightly coarse in texture. Blinking, he found himself face first in what looked like a cloak. A cloak … being worn by

“WAAAh! Ohno,I’msosorryIdidn’t meanto …”

 He had to step on his own feet to keep from running away as the pirate turned to stare down at him, one eyebrow rising slowly. Komatsu quickly released his hold on the cloth and threw both arms above his head.

When the expected blow did not come, Komatsu tentatively opened one eye. The pirate seemed to be waiting.

Quick! Think of something to say! Something intelligent! Something that’ll impress him! Something that’ll make him want to NOT poke out your kidneys!

“Pleasedon’teatme!”

The pirate’s other eyebrow rose.

Ack! “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble. Er. I don’t think I’d be tasty. At least not raw. Though with funyions … no, wait what the hell am I saying … I wouldn’t taste good with those either!”

“Really. Funyions you said?”

“Pleasedon’teatme!” Komatsu winced. “Orthepenguin!”

“So the penguin’s off the menu too?”

“Pleasepleaseplease?!”

In addition to the two raised eyebrows, the pirate was now supporting a suspicious looking twist to his lips as well.

“Relax. You don’t quite fit any of our dietary requirements, to be honest. Though …  please excuse me for a moment. OY! That’s enough! Toriko, Zebra — I mean it! PUT DOWN THAT GANGPLANK! If you’re going to fight, do it in the ocean. Otherwise, you’ll destroy the ingredients we just pillaged and that would mean no one would get anything to eat tonight.”

His last warning seemed to be the key. With one final shove and growl, Toriko and Zebra leapt overboard. Sunny looked like he was about to abstain, but the holler of “Hey, Pretty Boy! Scared of getting wet?! It‘s not like your skin’ll get any less wrinkly in water, you chickentiger!” made him sneer and step elegantly over the side.

The great gouts of splashing water that boiled up indicated that the three had, indeed, started brawling the moment they hit the water.

“Finally. I swear I’m like a den mother at times,” muttered the Poison Man of the Four Kings. “Why do I even bother? I’m supposed to be a fearsome gourmet pirate, aren’t I? Right?”

“Um.”

However, the look he gave Komatsu when he turned back around wasn’t exactly the scariest or the most unwelcoming. It was distinctly the opposite of what the chef would expect of a fearsome gourmet pirate; the man’s eyes had a distant, sad sort of atmosphere to them instead of the expected bloodlust and rage.

Under that kind dignity,  Komatsu found that he was able to stop flinching  and stand up straight. His nerves smoothed out, and even his hands stopped jittering. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“Sorry about the interruption. You were saying?”

“Um, if you aren’t going to eat me, what are you going to do with me?”

“What do you think we should do?” Coco tilted his head.

“Um, sir, m-maybe you could p-please let me go at the nearest port? I um, d-didn’t mean to be in that box you took!” Komatsu said. As Coco crossed his arms, Komatsu shrunk back.

“P-please?! And maybe the p-penguin too?” At his feet, the baby wall penguin gave a reassuring chirp and pecked at his knees.

“Hmm. Toriko always did have the strangest luck,” the man finally murmured. “Though even I can’t see why he’s chosen you. What’s a slightly singed, Class 5 chef doing way out at sea anyway, armed only with a kitchen knife?”

“Pleasepleaseplease … eh?” The pirate’s words were like a bucket of water dousing the frenzy of Komatsu’s pleading. Puzzled, the chef stopped.  “A kitchen knife?”

“Yes, the one wrapped in cloth and tucked in the front pouch of your apron.”

Automatically, Komatsu stuck a hand into his front apron pouch. In the earlier chaos, it had never occurred to him to check his pockets, and he had been too worried about other matters to notice the strange weight.

 As the pirate had said, there was the faint outline of something bulky and heavy. He didn’t have to take it out to know; even under several thick layers of protective fabric, the shape and weight were as familiar to him as his own fingers, close to him as his own skin, and as responsive as a thought.

But … there’s only one.

Strange, after a night of loss — it was actually this that finally kindled the first fire of anger in his belly and made him drop to his knees, nails digging into his palms. He took the other one! But … why? They’re not expensive knives, and they’re not worth anything to anyone but me!

Why just leave me with one? It just makes me feel weaker, like I’m just half myself now.

“Are you all right?”

 Komatsu startled again; until Coco had spoken, he had forgotten that the pirate was there, had forgotten the sway of the ship and the sounds of the other three battling. Coco had not moved; his expression was shuttered and withdrawn as he watched the chef.

Komatsu matched his bleak gaze evenly. It was then that he realized he wasn’t as scared any more. The pirates can kill me, but what that stranger did already …

“Uh … um, no. I’m not all right,” Komatsu swallowed. “Someone took something from me. I mean, took something more, I guess, than just my restaurant. Huh. It sounds weird, but I didn’t realize it until now. Um. Here. On the deck of a notorious pirate ship. It’s really gone, isn’t it? All of it.”

A beat passed, then another as he clutched at his chest, fighting against the ache there. “Um, I guess I’m really am in trouble, aren’t I?”

“You … could say that,” Coco replied. “Depends how you look at it, really, and what you plan to do about it.”

“I … I don’t know what I can do,” Komatsu confessed, rubbing his hands across his face. “I can’t see that far ahead right now, to be honest.”

“At least you still have one knife,” the pirate pointed out. “Think about it that way, and take it from there, one step at a time. That’s how you arrive to the future — or at least, that’s how I see it.”

Komatsu blinked, lifting his head to meet that gentle gaze straight on. Huh. A pirate is giving me comforting advice.

The day really is getting weirder and weirder.

“How did you know my knife was there? I didn’t know it was there!”

“I have very good eyesight,” Coco said wryly. “By the way, you never did answer my first question. How did you get on that imperial ship …errr …what was your name?”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself!” Komatsu blushed as he scrambled back to his feet. He executed a quick, formal bow. “People call me Komatsu.”

“And my name is Coco, though you probably already know that, right?”

Komatsu nodded fervently. “Yes! You and the others are the Four Hell Kings of the Seven Sumptuous Seas! I’ve seen and read all of your … er … w-wanted posters …” He bit his lip. Crap. That’s kinda … awkward, isn’t it?

 When Coco continued staring mutely at him, Komatsu realized the man was still waiting for an answer.

“Um. How I got here? Honestly, it’s been a bit of a nightmare. First the suppliers in Haute Harbor wouldn’t supply my restaurant, then my staff left me, then a stranger wearing this huuuuuuuge black cloak came in, sat down, and ate before setting my restaurant on fire — not that the restaurant could’ve survived anyway because of all that stuff I said before but that’s not the point — and after that I woke up in an Imperial delivery ship and that got attacked by you guys — but I guess you know that part — so I tried to hide in a box with a wall penguin — not that I knew it was a box with a wall penguin ‘til I got in it— and now I’m well … erm … here.” Finally running to the end of his story (and his sentence), Komatsu took a deep breath. “With a penguin. And my one knife … though I really should have two.”

He shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “And that’s about it.”

Coco’s eyes had narrowed, then widened, the narrowed again through his story. Now, the pirate seemed simply amused, if the quirk at the edge of his mouth was any indication.

“That is quite a tale,” the pirate finally admitted.

 “Please let me have a chance. I promise I won’t get in your way if you don’t throw me overboard. I’ll do anything. Um,  that is, anything except for pillaging, because I don’t think I can do that. But I can clean the ship! I’ll scrub your toilets! Just let me stay on ‘til we get to the next civilized port …” Komatsu said. “I know I’m loud and kinda clumsy and all my teachers said that I was really annoying but…”

“Actually, I was going to say you’re pretty interesting — more so in the fact you have such faults. Technically, you’re Toriko’s share of the loot, so I don’t really have a say, but I will try to —”

“Oh thank you thank you thank you!” utterly relieved, Komatsu threw himself forward, hugging the man around the waist. Unfortunately, it took him more than a few seconds to realize just how tense the man had become.  Oh crap. It’s probably not the best idea to go around randomly hugging one of the most fiercest pirates on the Seven Sumptuous Seas!

“Ah! I’m so sorry …” he blushed as he immediately let go. “I didn’t mean to, um …

“Throw your arms around a pirate?” Coco said sardonically. “I AM the Poison King, you know.”

As if to illustrate his point, he flicked his fingers. Komatsu watched in amazement as Coco’s entire hand began to turn purple. The pirate’s poison was so great, or so the rumors said, that he could poison entire oceans by just swimming in them.

“Um y-yes. I knew t-that,” Komatsu stammered.

Coco was watching his expression, eyes half shuttered and hands folded at his waist.

Komatsu thought for a long moment, thought about the sad, distant eyes of the pirate, then shook his head. “But you didn’t poison me when I erm .. h-hugged … you. You’re actually kind of nice.”

If anything, Coco’s gaze sharpened even more. Komatsu gulped. Perhaps nice wasn’t the best word to use. Pirates probably didn’t like being called nice.

Komatsu could feel a furious blush painting up his neck, across his cheeks, past his nose … he probably looked like a tomato with a thatch of hair now. Maybe walking the plank would have been a better choice  …

Just when he was seriously considering the merits of swimming back to Haute Harbor, Coco did something completely unexpected.

He smiled — softly, honestly, and with a grace that seem to light up his eyes.

 Komatsu blinked, should pirates even smile?! That must be against the rules!  but the expression did not change.

“Well, Komatsu-kun, I think that —”

“Wooohaaa, where’s the food!?!”

Whatever Coco might have thought was immediately lost in the reappearance of the other three kings flinging themselves on the deck. They were all panting hard, but none of them looked the worse for wear. In fact, Zebra looked even happier because of the fight somehow. The other two seemed to waver between degrees of exasperation and disdain.

Both Toriko and Zebra were dripping wet, but somehow Sunny did not even have one hair (and that was saying something, Komatsu thought, considering the sheer amount of hair the man had) out of place. Pointedly turning his back towards Komatsu again, Coco crossed his arms. “Now that you’ve got that out of your systems —”

“Yep! It’s time to eat!” crowed Toriko. Zebra just grunted and Sunny tossed his head.

“I was going to say we should decide what to do with Komatsu-kun here …Toriko, I would like to talk to you about trading my share of the — are you listening to me?”

“WhosKomatsu?!” Toriko rumbled through a mouth full of food. To Komatsu’s amazement, in the split second between Coco turning to address the other pirates and asking his question, Toriko had already torn into one the crates and was slurping up the strawbats within it raw.

To his left, Zebra had similarly opened a barrel of peanut bunkeys; several were squirming desperately in his mouth. Sunny hadn’t quite done something so unrefined as tearing into a crate and cramming the contents into his mouth, but his hands were still delicately prying open a box labeled “shimmering scallops.”

I bet class ten ingredients taste wonderful, even raw! But they could be so much more! Flavors could be coaxed out, textures explored, and tastes could be enhanced if the pirates would just —

Before he could stop it, the words were already spilling out of his mouth.

“Wait! Don’t just eat it like that! Those peanut bunkeys would go better with some grapebees. And try dipping the strawbats into some creamtles — it’ll bring out a third flavor that way! And while shimmering scallops are quite delicious raw, the meat shines even brighter if you steam them slightly with some limerick liquor — and it becomes better for your skin too!”   

The absolute silence that dropped over the deck made Komatsu physically take a step back. He clapped his hands over his mouth in horror. Oh crap! What did I just say?!

“And just who do you think you are, boy? A class 5 chef telling me what to do with class 10 ingredients?” Zebra roared. “Getting cocky now, are ya?!”

“EEEEEEEEP!” falling on his bottom, Komatsu scooted backwards away from the frightening man. I’m going to chucked overboard so hard that there’s going to be a impact crater in the shape of my butt in the New Gourmet World!  he thought as he cowered down, hands shielding his head.

However, just as the most violent of the four kings was reaching one gigantic hand forward, an equally large bicep and hand blocked its path.

“Knock it off, Zebra. You know he’s right. Those peanut bunkeys would go better with some grapebees,” Toriko merely rolled his eyes when Zebra snarled. “And some creamtles sound wonderful with these strawbats. And that last bit about shimmering scallops — if he could actually pull it off …”

Komatsu watched in disbelief as drool began to overflow the corners of the man’s mouth.

“Tch! E’veryone knows that! Of course that shimmerin’ scallops go well with limerick liquor! And of course it makes one’s skin bea’tiful — I wouldn’ eat it otherwise!” Sunny wrinkled his nose.

“The probl’m is that not a lot of people have the skill to pull it off!  Shimmerin’ scallops become a ’specially prepared ingredient. If you do one thing wrong, the scallops stop shimmerin’! You need a perfc’t sense of balance and cadence — and him … tch! Just look at the disgustin’ floppy way he moves! He’s got no sense of beau’ty at all! He’s goin’ to ruin it, and it’s not every day I get to eat high class beaut’ful stuff, bein’ on this nasty boat on this disgustin’ ocean!”

“But … um … please let me try?” Komatsu’s voice was barely above a whisper, but he still squared his shoulders determinedly. “I want to make those ingredients shine even more than they do now.”

 Drool hanging off the corners of his mouth like obscene ribbons, Toriko nodded enthusiastically.  “Couldn’t hurt. Besides, we still got plenty of loot left if he ruins that batch.”

“Well, he’s not playin’ with my share!” Sunny folded his arms. “Chefs in the ‘mpire are all the same! He prob’ly doesn’t have the talent or imagina’t’n to pull it off!”

“Brat, if you even look at my prize, I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth!”

“Eeeeeek!” Komatsu cowered again.

“Actually, Toriko, I would really like to talk to you about trading my share of the loot for —”

“Nah, I don’t want your stuff, Coco! You worked hard for it too, so you should enjoy it!  The kid can play around with my part of the loot,” Toriko gestured to a large number of boxes, “go right ahead. Pick any and all that you want!”

Komatsu stared at him, feeling a surge of gratitude at the show of generosity. “Really?”

“Yeah. I already busted into the best of the lot while I was over on the other ship,” Toriko said matter-of-factly. “Besides, you’re part of my loot too. So it’s okay. I don’t really mind burnt things either.”

“Oh,” said Komatsu, deflating.

Still, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, Komatsu headed for the nearest containers that Toriko had pointed to and selecting the one labeled silver dragonfish. He tugged at it, huffing and puffing, but it wouldn’t budge. Finally after watching Komatsu huff, groan, and nearly throw out his back for a full five minutes, Coco came over lifted it up with one hand.

“Thank you, Coco-sama, for both trying to help me and for lifting the box. I hope I can do the ingredients justice!”

“No problem. Actually, I predict you’ll be fine. Shall we go to the kitchen?”

Following the pirate, Komatsu rubbed his face with both hands, then nodded once.

Let’s get cooking!

——

 Part 2c - Just for the Halibut!

Okay, so I still don’t have the overall main title, but I’m also having too much fun naming the chapters, so erm … yeah. Thanks to Bluebird for the suggestions “For Goodness Steak!” and “Pasta la Vista”. XD XD

What can I say? They made me laugh. There is one more part after this one, and I’ll get it up and coded as soon as I can. Since I’m not going to make my new years deadline, erm, I might leave the bits of fic up longer. This part took forever to edit, and is still liable to change once I get the whole thing up. I did have fun though, so I guess that’s what’s important. I tried to keep everyone in character (and Komatsu from trying to escape the ship or staying forever curled in a shivering ball of fear) but I think I was only somewhat successful. >_<.

Thank you also to everyone who’s replied or liked the chapters so far. I’ve been nervous about this one; it’s the one that makes or breaks the whole fanfic — Komatsu meeting his destined crewmates. I did my best, but I still worry.

Again, I’m offering cookies and possibly a fic bit (like … I will write the POV of any character but Komatsu of the meeting scene that you choose, or … whatever. XD) if you can help me find a better title.

Thank you for reading. Any concrit, as usual, is always welcome … I’m always thrilled that SOMEONE is reading, at least! :)